Well, the full story can’t be conveyed easily, and I’m definitely guilty of some things. I’ve never cheated on this girl, but she has felt hurt when we have broken up and I started seeing someone. I never heard the end of it. Now I can’t say anything even as a joke before she gets upset.
But things are up and down - this has been going for a while. I’m not out of the house yet, and the reason I paid for everything is because we didn’t do childcare and she watched him during the day. I felt it was an even trade.
Ultimately her actions aren’t matching her words, but she’s finally opening up. And I’m finally able to let go, and told her so, and have showed her my new plans, and I think she’s second guessing herself.
I told her that I’m upset but not mad at her. I think I did some stupid things, but this is worse than that and only shows she is human. And that I truly love her, so I can forgive and forget and really want to make us serious. Unfortunately I may have missed the train that’s been waiting for years.
She’s been going out a lot, and I think that part of it is being cooped up with a kid and locked down for so long. Plus, she’s never had many friends and so had few opportunities unless we made them. So I understand a lot of this. But I told her that she’s not being a very good parent or friend when she knows what she is doing is bothering me and practically taking advantage of me, and that she’s not recognizing that our son has the priority here. I reiterated that in a few days, when I’m gone, her life is going to be very different and much harder.
She’s warmed up a bunch to me, but I still don’t like where we are. It definitely sounds worse than it is.
So here’s what I’m doing. I think the best path is to avoid arguments, as much as you want an I’m sorry. However, tell them how you feel. You’d regret it if you didn’t say: I love you, I want to make us work, and I hate throwing away our history.
I’ve been channeling my frustrations into positive energy, like working out, getting projects done, finding new hobbies (I’ve decided to get my civilian pilot license 8-) ), and I think she’s noticing.
My next step may be to cut off contact unless absolutely necessary. I hear that it can do wonders in winning someone back. I certainly want her back if we can achieve what we have yet really worked for…
I think all of you gave some sound advice.