Axis and Allies is not for picky gamers of any sort. Even the slightest issue can ruin the entire eight-hour experience.
I have the advantage of many replacements on my side, so I don’t even give second chances to people that act wrongly. I am not letting one person’s sour mood ruin the experience. Seriously, we invest so much time and effort into this game and getting bad dice rolls is annoying enough. Why add in more misery?
Unless it is family or something, I advise you to tell her how it is, and if she does not change, say bye bye.
I do have several family members who fit perfectly under this category. Fortunately for me, they do not like Axis and Allies. I know I am not the most influential person, but I have tried helping them for years, and they still act like five year olds when they lose. Some people just don’t like competition. I have found that only a few females really like to play Axis and Allies. (You know, the adventurous, positive, video-gaming, taunting, tomboyish type.)
One more note: do you have a certain code of play? For instance, those who forget the rules must suffer, dice falling off the table are invalid, you must finalize your purchases before moving, etc. I find that low luck helps a lot of people who just get furious when their glorious plans go down in flames because of extreme dice results. (I must confess, I am liable to keep telling people if they were lucky or not.) Another thing you can do is consider giving people a second chance if they just can’t get a hold of the rules. I often do this for new players and even go so far as to point out all their options.
I hope you resolve the issue without too much trouble. Keep in mind that the problem might be partially you as well. So what if your opponent rolled well and is happy about that? I usually use such opportunities to crack jokes. “These guys were Vichy, that’s why they stink like rats from a Boche dungeon and roll sixes.” It is all just fun and games anyway right? Of course we don’t want to take the fun out of our games though…