Total time logged in: 30 days, 18 hours and 48 minutes. I assume that’s over many years.
My life….well, my life isn’t very complicated, it just sucks.
The mother of my child ran off with some coworker almost 3 years ago exactly. I have never felt that bad in my entire life. Things are so so I guess now, but she was deliberately trying to make my life miserable.
Around the same time, I found friends not really being friends at all and had to write many of them off. Including guys I’d known for years that started to chase my ex.
I was in a job I haven’t liked for some years but needed because of costs. They fired me about 2 weeks ago the day I came back from vacation. I’m mostly happy about that, just worried about where I’ll work next.
The only person I’ve ever had the feeling that I’d liked to marry moved away almost a year ago exactly about 1200 miles. We were trying and make it work, but the husband she had separated from a year and half earlier surprised her with a visit and begged for another chance (a few days before my planned visit). She decided she needed to at least try and salvage her marriage if possible, so she chose the lying, cheating, abusive ahole over me. They were done within 4 months, and communication from her is very sporadic and odd. Everytime I get mostly over her she contacts me out of the blue and says she is still in love with me or something that throws my heart for a loop. Not that she’s trying to screw with me - most of the time in the past months I don’t hear a peep or get responses to anything I send her.
Until I got laid off I felt like all I did was work and take care of my son. I don’t get out much, and if I do, it’s usually late and can’t make events or something. I don’t have many hobbies and feel there’s not much time for them and most people have a fuller life than me. The past 3 years have taken a huge toll on me, and I don’t have the time to improve my life and get my mind and heart past it. I’ve dealt with so much loss it makes me not interested in messing with girls ever again. About the only thing that keeps me going sometimes is the fact that someone depends on me.
I almost feel like I come here because I always have. I can’t remember the last time I played a game of A&A and don’t think I could even arrange one. The best I do is my son and I pull out the map and play with the pieces. He always makes me have the Russian bomber for some reason.
My happiest moments were last summer…I finally felt my luck was turning. Then it all went away. I regret not being able to do much to improve anything. I still have some hope, but if I see much more crap I’m bound to give up.