yeah, you cant be controlled or owned.
i have a buddy since preschool, so i’ve known him for 18 years and been friends with him for that long, even since the little tyke play dates.
he’s getting married to a girl all the rest of us hate. b/c we havent really hung out with him for 1 1/2 years. and they havent been even dating a full 2 years.
he had never been kissed before this girl came along when he was 22. and she knew that. she threw her sex at him and he loved it. we were stoked for him. but he’s now just controlled and cant or wont do anything b/c that will make her mad.
everytime he tries to stick up for himself it doesnt work. i’ve seen her storm out of his birthday party at the bar b/c she wanted to leave and he wanted to stay with his sisters and friends he seldom sees. she couldnt take that i guess. she is soooo controlling. i continually wish bad things to happen to her.
but i talked to him at the bar about a month ago and he brought up marriage. i asked why he would bring that up, and he said b/c she’s been talking about it alot. and i went “oh no” in my mind. she has successfully got him away from his lifelong friends, b/c we all think she’s a bitch and have told him that, and he knows she’s a bitch but tries to defend it by saying she didnt have many friends and isnt that sociable. we call that bullshit.
anyhoo….now after pressuring him into marriage, she wants them to move to alaska. thats b/c she knows we are her biggest threat to her complete domination of the poor guy, so she wants to get away from us. he’s had trouble after graduation finding an engineering job, but she says her uncle will get him one in Anchorage. and now she went a bought a puppy and has it stay at her place. she lives there, but doesnt pay rent. which we know is f’ed up, but he doesnt care, he’s getting laid. when is parents who own the house come by, she has to leave, b/c she is not supposed to be living there, especially not paying rent. even his sisters dont like her, but we all love the kid and try to be supportive, but know this relationship cant last b/c after the years he will freak out about not being in control of his own life.
women complicate things…why cant they shut up, put out, clean, cook, have our children and raise them, pamper men, and f’ing like it that way? i think men have to do their duty and put women back in their proper place. except our new society has screwed that up, thats why many many relationships dont work out.
i feel sorry for all the wrongs men do women, and if we could just rise up as a nation and show them they aint shit, things would be alot better. but that would be sexist wouldnt it. and nobody likes to be called an “ist” anymore. even when they know its not being an “ist” its looking at the situation at large and seeing that there is something messed up that is driving breakups and divorces to an all time high.
my rant is over, jermo sorry man, i hope stuff works as best as it possibly can.
i feel sorry for all the wrongs men do women, and if we could just rise up as a nation and show them they aint sh*t, things would be alot better.
Please clarify as to who needs to be shown that they ain’t shit - women, or the wrongs men do women? Because if you are talking about rising up as a nation to show women that they ain’t shit, I have a problem with that.
i mean what i say. spousal abuse is abhorent.
there are women who act like they will never be punished b/c the guy lets them get away with anything. my buddy mason had his girlfriend leave him b/c she says she wanted more of a man. who wouldnt always keel over when it comes to arguements and let andrea do whatever she wants. call me what you will, but women press the boundries to see what they get away with, they know what they are doing is messed up, but they do it anyways. if they dont get a bad response from that, they will keep doing more and more messed up things. i think its just human nature, we always press boundries of what we can get away with.
i still think mens demise was this newfound societal CONSTRUCT where guys bend over backward for women b/c they think its the proper thing to do,……dont even think about getting mad at a women for messed up behavior b/c nowadays, that makes you a sexist bigot somehow. women sometimes press guys’ buttons on purpose, thats a fact, they just want to see what the response is. if men showed women they wouldnt put up with nonsense by showing them the door and never talking to them again,(all men, to all women across the nation) there bad behavior would stop.
basically society has said the man is always wrong. which is messed up. society will accept a woman getting mad at a man for holding the door open, or for not holding the door open. for picking up the check(what you think women are so low they cant pay for a date ever), or for not picking up the check.
when people get the best of BOTH worlds at ALL times, bad things happen to relationships. henceforth my arguement about the higher rates of breakups and divorces. and i blame women.
The short version for men to not be “subjugated” in a relationship….
NEVER SURRENDER YOUR BALLS!
And when that P-Whip gets used too often, go find another P to enjoy.
exactly what i say. the next ones just like the last one.
I have to agree with everyone who is urging you to get a lawyer. I just finished a year-and-a-half battle with my NOW ex-wife. Within a week after leaving, I began missing her very much, we talked on the phone daily, and the whole time she was playing on my sympathies, she was secretly conspiring with a lawyer to take me for every penny she could get. I hired a lawyer and we spent over a year battling over a separation agreement, mainly what to do with our assets and debt (she wanted all the assets, split the debt, and a lump sum payment). In the end she got the house, all the furniture and other assets, but had to assume all the debt (a sizeable one, which is fitting since she’s the one who ran it up, and was the major factor in our breakup). Your situation is a bit different since we are talking about infidelity, and there is just no coming back from that, you also have to think about custody, do you really want some other man raising your kid? Your best bet is to get out as soon as possible and hire a lawyer…like yesterday.
As an aside…my divorce was official on 9/11…go figure. :roll: :roll: :roll:
Well JSP, it seems we have something else in common…
Why are divorces so expensive? Because they are WORTH it!
That comment about “running up debt” really rang true to me. In the weeks after the separation papers were filed (Thank the Gods for my Father who demanded AND PAID FOR those separation papers…), the phone calls began to come in for past due payments on loans I never knew existed… Citi, Wells Fargo, Household Finance… all the legal loan sharks. But thanks to those separation papers (and the lack of my signature) I was able to ignore those debts despite NC being a community property state.
In this case, Jermo also needs to include the care, custody, and cash regarding their child in those papers. They can be overridden in a final decree by the court, but having them legally recorded with both party’s signature up front goes a long way…
Now, before anyone says anything about me and women after all of this in this thread…
There are few things stronger than a man that is married to a good woman.
There are few things weaker than a man that is being taken to the cleaners by a slime bucket of a woman that he thinks he loves…
For all this talk about getting a lawyer, I have to admit I wish that wasn’t the case. Lawyers are trained to be adversarial, which is the last thing you need when dealing with something as sensitive as a family. IMO divorce should be handled by some kind of civil servant or social worker. But I don’t know how to make that work. I do know that the more bitterly you fight over who gets to keep the house, the more likely that your lawyer is going to end up with the house…
So by all means get a lawyer to know and protect your rights, but try to keep the fight clean, fair and short (which means as friendly and cooperative as possible).
This is the reason why I only date smart women and women who are richer then me. That way in a divorce I win out.
My Guide for women in terms of importance.
1. Smart
2. Finanically equal or better then me.
3. Looks
I am only 20 years old and I already know that everything needs to be in writing. Never trust anything someone saids unless it is in writing. That way you have a legal case and can use it for support.
Not so much for your situation but some general advice for life in general.
Adam was walking around the garden of Eden, moping. God asked him, “What is wrong with you?” Adam replied that he was lonely and didn’t have anyone to talk to.
God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, "This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.
Adam asked God, “What will this woman cost?”
God replied, “An arm and a leg.”
Adam thought a moment and asked, “What can I get for a rib?”
Adam was walking around the garden of Eden, moping. God asked him, “What is wrong with you?” Adam replied that he was lonely and didn’t have anyone to talk to.
God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, "This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.
Adam asked God, “What will this woman cost?”
God replied, “An arm and a leg.”
Adam thought a moment and asked, “What can I get for a rib?”
u better hope to hell ur woman dun see this
me, i like a good show.
–
hookers and blow, man, is there even a question?
Adam was walking around the garden of Eden, moping. God asked him, “What is wrong with you?” Adam replied that he was lonely and didn’t have anyone to talk to.
God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, "This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.
Adam asked God, “What will this woman cost?”
God replied, “An arm and a leg.”
Adam thought a moment and asked, “What can I get for a rib?”
:lol: LMAO! Funny, and somewhat appropriate! :lol:
Divorce is never worth it. Hiring a gunman to kill your spouse and then repenting for your sins is much better. You get to keep ALL your stuff!
So Jen I assume if I ever need it you can get me a connection in the Russian Mob?
Too expensive!
Use the Croatians or Serbians. They’re cheap and disposable.
“I’m a great housekeeper: I get divorced, I keep the house.”
– Zsa Zsa Gabor
What more needs to be said.
Divorce is never worth it. Hiring a gunman to kill your spouse and then repenting for your sins is much better. You get to keep ALL your stuff!
Na, the only way two people can keep a secret is if ones dead, do the dirty work yourself and if you get caught you only have yourself to blame.
Make sure to post your plan on a web site, first, too.
Make sure to post your plan on a web site, first, too.
Or publish a book called “If I Did It”
:mrgreen:
Hey guys, thanks again for the encouragement.
I still haven’t contacted a lawyer, but this isn’t as messy as a divorce. So far it’s been pretty civil, but I’ve kept myself in check more than she ever has. It’s just a custody/child support issue, and we pretty much have it worked out by ourselves. I still aim to speak to one though.
I do see hope everyday, in quite a few things. She just told me two days ago that I’m first in line should she start dating again. Sure, it could be a lie, but why would she say that when she’s been so strict on boundaries and splitting apart? Her comfort level with me has also returned as I’ve been able to give her massages, and she’s not as reclusive when it comes to me possibly seeing her naked (changing, breast feeding, what have you).
It sounds like I’ve got the short end of the stick, but you guys are only hearing my side and don’t know my history with her. We’ve had some very rocky times that I’ve exacerbated. At one point, she broke up with me and another girl approached me. I tried to keep it on very slow, easy terms, but she went for it full fledged. I didn’t sleep with the girl, but Mary came running after that. Last year, I went on a cabin trip when we were not together (even though still living together), and got so drunk that a girl there came onto me hardcore and I didn’t stop it. I regretted it the next day, and told Mary as soon as I got back. It was very complicated, and even though she says she doesn’t care, she still brings it up some. However, I’ve never slept with anyone since I met Mary almost 5 years ago.
I’ve hurt her a lot - probably more than I ever knew until recently. I didn’t know myself at some points, didn’t know what I want, and didn’t know how to love someone that meant so much to me. She didn’t know how to communicate her feelings, has her father’s temper, and neither one of us knew how to productively address our problems. Now I feel I do. It just took a crisis to get that full perspective (it’s been heading that anyway for months now when I decided to become a better father, lover, and person).
She’s not a terrible person, she’s just someone that’s gone through some hard times, been cooped up for a while (and not done anything about it), has some stress and anxieties, and doesn’t know where she’s going. But recently she hasn’t been the wonderful person I knew. It hurts me to hear that she’s been hardening herself for 2 years (which I didn’t know until recently), yet for all that time she’s wanted to buy a house and have our family.
A little bit of time will help heal everything. And it will show me the way.
DF - Great joke.
@ncscswitch:
Make sure to post your plan on a web site, first, too.
Or publish a book called “If I Did It”
:mrgreen:
You should check that book out. Or at least read the intro into how it came into being. OJ didn’t publish it. Also, check out the cover, it’s pretty funny if you pay attention to the layout.
