Hey guys, thanks again for the encouragement.
I still haven’t contacted a lawyer, but this isn’t as messy as a divorce. So far it’s been pretty civil, but I’ve kept myself in check more than she ever has. It’s just a custody/child support issue, and we pretty much have it worked out by ourselves. I still aim to speak to one though.
I do see hope everyday, in quite a few things. She just told me two days ago that I’m first in line should she start dating again. Sure, it could be a lie, but why would she say that when she’s been so strict on boundaries and splitting apart? Her comfort level with me has also returned as I’ve been able to give her massages, and she’s not as reclusive when it comes to me possibly seeing her naked (changing, breast feeding, what have you).
It sounds like I’ve got the short end of the stick, but you guys are only hearing my side and don’t know my history with her. We’ve had some very rocky times that I’ve exacerbated. At one point, she broke up with me and another girl approached me. I tried to keep it on very slow, easy terms, but she went for it full fledged. I didn’t sleep with the girl, but Mary came running after that. Last year, I went on a cabin trip when we were not together (even though still living together), and got so drunk that a girl there came onto me hardcore and I didn’t stop it. I regretted it the next day, and told Mary as soon as I got back. It was very complicated, and even though she says she doesn’t care, she still brings it up some. However, I’ve never slept with anyone since I met Mary almost 5 years ago.
I’ve hurt her a lot - probably more than I ever knew until recently. I didn’t know myself at some points, didn’t know what I want, and didn’t know how to love someone that meant so much to me. She didn’t know how to communicate her feelings, has her father’s temper, and neither one of us knew how to productively address our problems. Now I feel I do. It just took a crisis to get that full perspective (it’s been heading that anyway for months now when I decided to become a better father, lover, and person).
She’s not a terrible person, she’s just someone that’s gone through some hard times, been cooped up for a while (and not done anything about it), has some stress and anxieties, and doesn’t know where she’s going. But recently she hasn’t been the wonderful person I knew. It hurts me to hear that she’s been hardening herself for 2 years (which I didn’t know until recently), yet for all that time she’s wanted to buy a house and have our family.
A little bit of time will help heal everything. And it will show me the way.
DF - Great joke.
@ncscswitch:
@Frood:
Make sure to post your plan on a web site, first, too.
Or publish a book called “If I Did It”
:mrgreen:
You should check that book out. Or at least read the intro into how it came into being. OJ didn’t publish it. Also, check out the cover, it’s pretty funny if you pay attention to the layout.
