A rant by an insane woman

[Guest]

My favorit quote for the year from Monty Python and the Holy Grail…

“I’m 37, I’m not old.”"

[Jennifer]

“Bring out yer dead!”

“But I’m not dead yet!”

“You will be soon!”

[El Jefe]

@Jen:

Disclaimer:  I don’t actually mean the things I say here, I just want to say them so I don’t go completely insane!
… the planet we lovingly refer to as Planet Earth (3rd rock from the sun.)

Thank heavens you dint mean it.  Rants are more effective when they briefly cover lotsa topics…long descriptors for a small insignificant rock do not help.
@Jen:

…why should a woman who comes to a COMPLETE UTTER FREAKING STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF A BUSY INTERSECTION TO APPLY MAKEUP be allowed to breed???  HOLY HELL!!!Â

Farding(putting on makeup) in public, even by men, has become more common of late, though not more acceptable.
@Jen:

…I have never, in all my born days, been so close to taking the business end of my truck and attempt to drive THROUGH the side door of some idiot’s …"car."  I mean, common people!  We have GOT to do something about this.

The hay that broke the elephants neck?  And you wanted to use a 1 1/2 to 2 ton vechicle to correct the situation?  A simple shout of, “Save it for the Men’s room!” would have sufficed to get the b-i-t-c-h’s attention back in the here and now.
@Jen:

My solution?  Everyone gets implanted with an IUD so that NO ONE can breed without proper governmental clearnaces.Â

My preference would be an IED… :-D
@Jen:

…To have children you’d have to prove the following:
A)  You are employable

Would you want to condemn someone to a life with an employee of China(Wal)mart, McDonald’s or the USPS?? See “My preference” above.

B)  You have common f++++++ senseÂ

I dint know you could say that here.  Lemme see…
Testing…testing…
(add many expletives here)…
This has been a test of the EMERGENCY EDIT SYSTYEM.
If it were more than a test you would have been instructed to put you head between your legs and kiss your a-s-s.

C)  You have an IQ in at least the double digits

I recommend a minimum IQ of 95 .  This allows for some normal peeps(making  majority… :wink: ).  It will not narrow the perameters so much as to eliminate the species.  Besides we need a few folks to work at Chinamart, McD’s and the USPS.

D)  Your DNA is compatible with the recipient’s DNA

This leads to some ugly daymares.  Let’s leave the barnyard animals out of this.

E)  Your house passes inspection by the Department of Children and Families

I once worked for DCFS.  This is NOT a good qualifier!!

F)  You complete army basic (not US army, any army, they’re pretty similar.)

Do you really want to include the Armies of the PRC, Sudan, France, and Belize(with an army of about 10?)
@cystic:

chiropractor?

cc, you used a dirty word!
I have yet to meet a doctor who would volunteer the word…
not to mention make a recommendation.

---

Note : The inappropriate language included in this post is not directed at any individual, real or imagined.
Note: Not to worry Imperious took it out just in case.

[cystic crypt]

i didn’t make a recommendation - just volunteering a word she may have been looking for.
Also - not against chiro’s per se - just the idiots who tell people not to have their children vaccinated, or recommend against antibiotics when they are indicated, or manipulate people’s necks (esp when my patients ask them not to).

[Guest]

Chiropractors are great for a stiff back and when “pinched nerves” become frequent.  A good “crack and rack” every couple of years is a great thing in my book.

But those Chiro’s who claim to cure cancer and colds and what not…

Well,I don;t go see those folks for my occasional crack and rack.

[El Jefe]

cc, 
That’s correct. You did not recommend a chiro…just a general remark on my part.

nc,
“Crack ‘n’ rack” as you called it is now old school.  A newer method which was previously referred to as the “Pierce(sp.?) Method”…unsure if it has been renamed… now uses a computer to help diagnose(15 years and about 10 to 12 updated programs) and treat patients.  X-rays are a must prior to treatment as well.

Much less traumatic.  Kinda like a woodpecker tapping your spine into proper allignment.  Many of the adjustments are in the neck.

Over the last 5 years I have seen two different chiropractors in this area who use this method.  The change was to a closer location.  No problem with either doctor.

I stand straighter, have had no back problems(auto accidents not included) and have been in better general health for the last 5 years than for the previous 20.  Back problems from work, sinus and allergies were interspersed throughout these years.

[Jennifer]

@cystic:

i didn’t make a recommendation - just volunteering a word she may have been looking for.
Also - not against chiro’s per se - just the idiots who tell people not to have their children vaccinated, or recommend against antibiotics when they are indicated, or manipulate people’s necks (esp when my patients ask them not to).

Funniest thing is, I’m actually seeing a “Chiropractic Physician” for my condition and he’s actually found numerous things the orthopedic surgeons missed!  (For one, they missed the thorasic spinal cord injury, they also missed the inflamation of the spinal cord in the lumbar region, the reduced reflexes in the torso and legs, amoung more private issues.)

The chiropracter is the one who sent me for the EMG and NCV and MRI.  The orthopedic surgeon’s the one who relied only on X-Rays.

Funny how you can get good help from the least likely of places.  And I hate doctors (sorry CC, but even you when you put on that robe and stethescope.)  Rather, it isn’t the person, it’s the office.  I hate going there.  It’s a place where I’m poisoned, burned and cut up.  Meanwhile, I find that most of the time I’ve been duped, I would have been much better off just drinking more water, excersicing more and sleeping less. (Yes, LESS.  If I sleep more then 9 hours (and I average 6-7 normally) I’m tired, lethargic and pissed off at the world.)

And before you ask, NO he is not cracking my spine.  He’s sending me to a neural-surgeon tomorrow for a consultation instead, and putting someone under the blade is taking money out of a chiropracter’s wallet.

[cystic crypt]

ok - i’m out.

[Jennifer]

@cystic:

ok - i’m out.

Out of what?

[Guest]

Jen,

You might consider a DO (Doctor of Osteopathy) instead of an MD.  I have found the best of both worlds with DO’s  (personal opinion)

And Jefe,

I’ll be upset if I go for my next crack and rack and I can;t get one.  I LIKE having that done every few years.

[cystic crypt]

@Jennifer:

@cystic:

ok - i’m out.

Out of what?

this discussion.