Jen's Super PC, Guaranteed Not to Offend, Greetings of the Season

[Jennifer]

Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your particular choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion, as well as those who choose not to practice any religion at all.  Additionally, a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures, whose contributions have helped make our society great, without regard to race, creed, color, religion or sexual orientation.

Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.  It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or others, and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.

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For the rest of us, Merry Christmas, God’s Blessings and Happy New Year!

[stuka pilot]

Ditto from Stuka Pilot, the pagan.

[U-505]

@Cmdr:

Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your particular choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion, as well as those who choose not to practice any religion at all.  Additionally, a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures, whose contributions have helped make our society great, without regard to race, creed, color, religion or sexual orientation.

Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.  It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or others, and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.

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For the rest of us, Merry Christmas, God’s Blessings and Happy New Year!

And a happy holidays to you too, Mrs O’Reilly.

[jsp4563]

In this day and age it’s customary to list the possible side effects in your disclaimer.  A few come to mind.

BADS (Bank Account Depletion Syndrome)
ACTS (After Christmas Trampling Syndrome, especially prevalent Dec. 26th)
GRADS (Giftwrap Recycling And Disposal Syndorme)
CHADS* (Christmastree Hauling And Disposal Syndrome)
DF (De-decorating Fatigue)

*Not to be confused with a medical condition known to afflict voters in Florida

[cystic crypt]

i may or may not be offended.

[Jennifer]

@cystic:

i may or may not be offended.

If you are, then you must tell me what offends so that I can invoke the Disclaimer and make the required changes!

[cystic crypt]

@Cmdr:

@cystic:

i may or may not be offended.

If you are, then you must tell me what offends so that I can invoke the Disclaimer and make the required changes!

Well that just offends me - assuming that i have the time to tell you what offends me.  That plus your fancy lawyer-type talkin’.

[Jennifer]

Bah, okay, fine, CC, you dragged outta me, you can have a good karma…. :P

[cystic crypt]

@Cmdr:

Bah, okay, fine, CC, you dragged outta me, you can have a good karma…. :P

Wha Hooo!!