Lessons from the Paediatrics ER

I am half-way through a stint as the EMO in a children’s hospital. For all of you parents and wanna-be parents and kids out there:

1. wear a helmet when biking/skateboarding/rollarblading. I had a 15 y/o patient who did not wear a helmet while biking. His spine was ok, as was the rest of his body (except for some scrapes and bruises). He was, however, braindead and breathes through a tube. This sucks.
2. ATV’s are killing machines. The short time i’ve done trauma work, i’ve seen several ATV victims with spinal cord injuries, bleeding inside the chest, etc. Please consider something a little less stupid.
3. USE A FRICKEN CONDOM!!! STI’s and unwanted pregnancies can be prevented SO MUCH earlier.
4. If the kid is coughing and puking with a mild fever, it’s likely viral.
5. If s/he is coughing and short of breath and having a fever, it still may be viral, but get it checked anyway.
6. injury=ice. whether cut or bump/bruise etc. Ice it down, prevent the swelling. It is much easier to close a big laceration if the tissue is not swollen even more open.
7. a fever is good. It is uncomfortable, but it is good. The thing that CAUSES the fever is bad and must be treated.
8. Anti-biotics do not treat viruses or asthma exacerbations. Don’t demand that i give them to you - you won’t get them.
9. a child in pain=bad. Let me try to treat that. Help me figure out what’s causing it.
10. a violent 8 year-old that is threatening to kill you is not necessarily “bad”. S/he might have post-traumatic stress disorder, mania, depression, or some other treatable illness.
11. Don’t be a wimp.

more to come.