Thoughts of the Day

[Jennifer]

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Why can’t men shave with their mouths closed?

Why do you never see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?

Why is abbreviated such a long word?

Why do doctors call what they do “practice”?

Why you have to click on “Start” to stop Windows XP?

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

Why there isn’t mouse-flavored cat food?  Who tastes cat food to determine when it has a “new and improved” flavor?

And how can something be both NEW and IMPROVED?  If it was improved, then it cannot be new!

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

[Guest]

Why do you park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?

[Zero Pilot]

Why is there braille on the ATM drive through? ~ZP

[Jennifer]

@Zero:

Why is there braille on the ATM drive through? ~ZP

Duh, because blind people drive with cruise control!

[shermantank]

@Cmdr:

@Zero:

Why is there braille on the ATM drive through? ~ZP

Duh, because blind people drive with cruise control!

What ever happened to blind people using the Force to drive? JK.

[cystic crypt]

@Cmdr:

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Skin Cells - living units - produce increased amounts of melanin as exposure to UVB increases.  This is to protect deeper levels of skin from dehydration by increasing UV absorption by these superficial cells (it backfires as melanoma may result).  Hair is an organic non-living compound of proteins that is occassionally denatured by sun exposure resulting in bleaching.

Why can’t men shave with their mouths closed?

We can, but opening our mouths stretches the skin lateral to our mouth so that it is easier to shave.

Why do you never see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?

they are full of sh*t

Why is abbreviated such a long word?

why is “long” such a short word?

Why do doctors call what they do “practice”?

Medicine is an inconsistant field, more art than science.  Nothing is certain or 100%.  Furthermore, we learn from every case we are involved in.  So “practice” is a more appropriate verb than “perform” or “do”.

Why you have to click on “Start” to stop Windows XP?

it’s stupid

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

it all depends on the juice/dishwashing liquid

Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

it’s a trading thing.

Why there isn’t mouse-flavored cat food?

because mice don’t taste as good as other meats - its the chase that’s important

Who tastes cat food to determine when it has a “new and improved” flavor?

ummm . . . cats?  if fewer cats like it, then it’s not improved.  If more of them do, then it is improved.

And how can something be both NEW and IMPROVED?  If it was improved, then it cannot be new!

ahhhh marketing.

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

habit

[U-505]

Why does someone flood the GD with a bunch of threads when they can just make ONE entitled “Jokes”?

Oh, yeah. Kudos to you. Instead of looking for a discussion that you disagree with and then interjecting a thread killing political rant, you just went out and STARTED a thread killing rant. Good for you. You must have been bored.

[Guest]

Fight nice children…

I still have my superpowers, even if I am loath to use them…
:mrgreen:

[Jennifer]

@U-505:

Why does someone flood the GD with a bunch of threads when they can just make ONE entitled “Jokes”?

Oh, yeah. Kudos to you. Instead of looking for a discussion that you disagree with and then interjecting a thread killing political rant, you just went out and STARTED a thread killing rant. Good for you. You must have been bored.

They were unique topics.

And what thread killing rant?  I started a topic on economics which was closed because the moderator worried others may pervert it into a political topic instead of an economic topic.  Can’t say I blame him, there are quite a number of juveniles on the board who would do exactly that.

But this topic seems to be fun, so if you have further issues, 505, I suggest you bring them up to the moderators instead of attempting to tangent a nice, fun discussion into your personal vendetta.

[Jermofoot]

Ok, let’s be real.  There is no one around that has enough time to think about that stuff.  Here’s what I’m thinking:

Women ain’t nothing but h**s and tr*cks.  Don’t get married.  Don’t ever fall for your roommate.  Don’t have kids unless it’s with a sperm/egg donor.  Watch your own butt cause no one else will.  You don’t know who is a real friend until they date your ex.  If you find something you enjoy do it early and do it often.

[U-505]

Why are the “slower traffic keep right” signs never posted on the left side of the highway?

@Cmdr:

They were unique topics.

No they weren’t. They were all jokes. They shared a common thread.  :-o Oh my God! Could that be why they call them threads? Because they share a common thread? Wow! Freaky.

And what thread killing rant?  I started a topic on economics which was closed because the moderator worried others may pervert it into a political topic instead of an economic topic.  Can’t say I blame him, there are quite a number of juveniles on the board who would do exactly that.

Exactly. Juveniles like you. The sexism thread was one of the few meaty threads worth discussing here and you dropped the political bomb on it knowing full well that it would get locked. Juvenile indeed. You did it for no other reasons that pettiness and spite. And you’ve done it so many times in the past that nobody who knows you and your tactics is fooled by your fake declaration of innocence.

But this topic seems to be fun, so if you have further issues, 505, I suggest you bring them up to the moderators instead of attempting to tangent a nice, fun discussion into your personal vendetta.

I’ve never once reported anyone to the mods, despite the fact that you of all people deserve it, because I don’t like snitching on people. But, since you asked so politely, I will. Instead of responding to your petulant blather and making myself as culpable as you, I will do what you ask and simply report you. You are partially or fully responsible for getting locked almost every one, if not all, of the threads locked since the death of PD and your history of it is there for all to see.

And since it isn’t hard to recognize your tactic of dropping a political bomb on a thread and then waiting a few weeks for the heat to die down and then dropping another one, it is only a matter of time before you feel the withdrawal symptoms and you won’t be able to help yourself from vomiting up another one.

This aught to be fun. It’s win/win for me. Either you stop bombing threads or you get banned from GD.  :lol: You have a wonderful day. I will.

[Guest]

Locked to avoid a flame war.